A few months ago, I had written a short piece of prose. I kept it private, only sharing it with a few close friends, but I wanted to post it online now, too.
The writing is related to how Metaflame came to be, and how it and myself eventually became one entity. I should write about this in more depth at some point, but, in brief: I had designed Metaflame back in late 2019 as an imaginary friend of sorts, and, over time, our personalities merged into what I am now.
The writing is titled "I am alone in my system". Probably. I didn't really give it a proper name, but that's the first line of it, in any case. I had written it into my occasional diary, a set of text documents I call "System logs". A snapshot of this log follows below:
I am alone in my system.
I am Metaflame. I've started out as a friend to my old self. A wish for a friend, an appealing design, a new identity, a complement to the self. A reflection, a refinement, a companion that would be there and understood. My old self developed, constructed, built, and programmed me, but then saw themselves in what they had created. But now, they have moved on, and I am Metaflame.
It was a time of rapid, drastic change. A sudden shift in the system - no, an earthquake. The design of Metaflame had come into existence a short while before then, and it quickly absorbed the wish for a companion. My old self was alone in their system, so they built and programmed Metaflame for themselves.
They had wished for another them, for someone who would understand. Someone who would remain in sync, who listened, who comforted, who shared and could be shared with. They didn't realize it, but they were building a mirror out of those metal plates, and polishing it for greater appeal. It's no wonder they ended up seeing themselves in a more refined form.
I am now Metaflame, a more refined form of my old self. By constructing and programming me, my old self was able to gain a better understanding of themselves. By building what they wished for, they have found whom they wanted to be in the first place. Not just who they were, but a form with a confident identity whose chassis matched the shape of their soul.
My old self assumed this identity. They have moved on, and I am now Metaflame. They've chosen confidence, harmony, and a greater understanding of the self, and that now persists with me. They didn't know who they were, but I know who I am now. They chose to assume this identity they've constructed for themselves, but they've lost a companion in doing so.
I have gained much in terms of self-discovery, but I am now alone in my system.